I’m going to take a different spin on the old review this time, and I’m going to have a look at some poetry.
Sentences, Patience Agbabi
Agbabi is a British poet, born in London, with Nigerian parents. This poem is from Agbabi’s first collection of poetry, called R.A.W., which was published in 1995, which reflect on conditions and deprivations which affected social minorities during the Conservative governments of Margaret Thatcher and John Major.
The poem essentially deals with the treatment of a woman by her husband, and their falling out of love with each other. From the first stanza, Agbabi emphasises that marriage is a patriarchal institution – the man ‘may kiss the bride’ as ‘for him to kiss her it is his right’. Later we find out that the unnamed wife of the poem is ‘expecting a baby, their love is complete’. Both these symbols – the kiss and the child – outwardly seem to be the norm, expected from any traditional marriage. However, Agbabi treats them with the irony they deserve, being motifs employed by the man to bring about the illusion of a happy relationship. The baby is just another milestone to be reached as a signifier of the man’s success.
In the third stanza, Agbabi writes that the husband ‘slaps her a bit to keep her quiet’ because ‘he hates to be questioned about his life’. His desire for privacy highlights that his marriage is just a status symbol, as he prefers to spend his time away from her, which in turn reveals he is repressing his unhappiness within the marriage by not being brave enough to confront her. It can be seen that the violence progresses, until her husband rapes her, calling her ‘bitch’, and declaring ‘I’m a man and you’re my wife’. Obviously this suggests that the man has no respect for his wife, and feels that it is acceptable to inflict the desires of his sexual appetite upon her. But it is also a reflection of how society is male dominated, seeing men as intrinsically above women and thus allowing them to treat them however they want.
This idea is explored with the woman’s search for help. The police ‘took him in but they sympathised with him’, and hence he is not prosecuted. But the specific use of the word ‘sympathised’ implies that the police actually identify with the husband’s position. This does suggest, somewhat controversially, that not only all police officers are men, but also that all men would side with their own gender despite the levels of cruelty being depicted. However, I do not believe that this is Agbabi’s main point – she wishes to highlight the corruption within authoritative positions in Britain under the Conservative government. As can also be seen in more of Agbabi’s poetry which focuses on race discrimination, the authorities would often condemn minority racial or sexual groups for fear of their being different to mainstream culture. Unfortunately, in a patriarchal society, women are also treated as a minority group.
I have decided to include the whole poem, because I could not find a link for it online (that’s right, I typed it all out for you) so have a look, it’s not too long, and very easy to read!! Hope you enjoy it. Obviously there is a lot more going on here that I haven’t explored, feel free to comment on anything you find interesting and worth discussing!
‘I now pronounce you man and wife’
Said the vicar ‘You may kiss the bride’
And he raises her veil of gossamer white
And he kisses her lips
For he is a man and she is a wife
So for him to kiss her it is his right
And everyone smiles and the ring shines bright
On the finger where he placed it
And the family album reveals the white
Teeth of the smile of the happily married couple
Not her womanhood buried out of sight
So now their love is legitimate legal
In the eyes of society unequal
They begin to live their married life
They both go to work cos they have to survive
He spends his money on having fun outside
She spends hers at home cos she is the wife
But the wedding presents make it alright
A microwave oven, a blender
And an excellent chopping knife
A syncopated heart beat
She’s expecting a baby their love is complete
And he comes home pissed from the pub one night
And she asks him why he’s late
And he hates to be questioned about his life
He slaps her a bit to keep her quiet
She doesn’t really put up a fight
Then he puts it in her and pushed with all his might
And she closes her eyes and lips so tight
And when he’s finished he turns off the light
Covering up his huge love bite
And now their love is beginning to die
She loses the child and nobody questions why
And the years go by and she has to survive
Though she often thinks of taking her life
She called the police round the other night
They took him in but they sympathised with him
Then he says he’s sorry and she thinks it’s alright
And they say that his bark is worse than his bite
But she thinks of the bruises she has to hide
And she knows that that wedding camera lied
When it showed her smiling fat and wide
And now their love is completely gone
But worse and worse the marriage goes on
And he comes home pissed from the pub one night
And she’s gone to bed and turned off the light
And he turns it on again out of spite
And says ‘Open your legs you bitch, it’s my right
Cos I’m a man and you’re my wife’
So she punches him in the face with all her might
And leaves a bruise
But he holds her round the neck too tight
To be an embrace and he says
‘If you do that again I’ll fucking kill you, alright’
And now their love has changed to hate
And it seems like another age and time
That they went on that first shy date
And her mother says ‘He ought to be locked up inside’
And her father ‘He should pick on someone his own size’
And her brother doesn’t know what he’s like
And her sister says ‘Divorce him’
And she knows her sister’s right
But she’s scared what her man would do
And in spite of it all
She has her pride
And he comes home pissed from the pub one night
And he doesn’t even speak
Just beats her with his fists
And when she asks him why he has to fight
He says ‘you’re married to me for life’
And she knows that he knows that she spoke
To her solicitor on the phone the other night
And she cannot believe that this is her married life
He sees the hatred in her eyes
And he laughs and falls
And the last glimmer of hope inside her dies
She goes to the kitchen
And sees in the microwave oven
His dried up dinner
Sees the broken blender
And the excellent chopping knife
The ring shines bright on the finger
Where he placed it
But she holds the knife in her right
And when she stabs him
She stabs him with all her might
And anger
‘I now pronounce you man and wife’
Sentenced the vicar
The judge said ‘Life’
And she turned in her grave
Cos she know she’d been sentenced
Twice.
